A lesson in self-preservation (and turkey slapping and why Big Brother Blows)

It's been a few months now since the widespread publication of the phrase "Turkey Slap". Prior to the incident on Big Brother, I must confess to having no clue whatsoever as to what a Turkey Slap was. Now I know. Joy.

After the details of the Turkey Slap were made public the Australian media gorged itself on all things Big Brother, not the least of which was the sexual harassment angle projected on the 'victim', Camilla. Newspapers were crammed with sensational bullshit detailing the potential psychological ramifications that could possibly haunt Camilla in the future. The two morons who perpetrated this 'atrocity' on Camilla (John and Ashley) were demonised. Even our illustrious leaders, Messrs Howard & Beazley made recommendations to network ten that the show be axed. Australia was agog.

Well, that is, it seemed, everyone save for my humble self who simply could not comprehend the fuss. It wasn't as if an ordinary young Australian lass were striding down her street when an unknown male sprang out of the bushes and swatted her on the face with his mouldy, unwashed knob. This was an attention-seeking slapper who regularly blurred the line of morality between herself and her housemates via accepting the casting conditions outlined by Big Brother. Camilla's acceptance of which would have formed a tacit (or otherwise) agreement between herself and the BB producers that such behaviour was not only acceptable but expected. It has been repeated by numerous BB past hopefuls that potential housemates were encouraged, even instructed to "simulate sex and other suggestive behaviours" when auditioning for the show. Former BB housemate Heath Tournier told the Herald-Sun that "the audition process also calls for hopefuls to spout abuse and perform lapdances" (July 09 2006). It may have been prudent for Camilla to question such procedures before entering the house.

Now allow me to interject here - No means no and forcing a woman in any shape or form remains socially and societal unacceptable and there is never ever any excuse for any kind of violence against women. That said, the question needs to be raised: Do women really take responsibility for their own actions and take the necessary steps to protect and thus empower themselves?

I am frankly surprised that anyone is Australia was surprised at the Turkey Slap. I am so tired of promiscuous slappers trying to tell me that they embark on the path of Seduction because it empowers them. Bullshit. Anyone who says or believes that is a LIAR or deluded, or too young to know the difference. Everything in life is a means to an end. So too is apparel. If you wish to look classy, then you buy classy clothes. If you wish to look sporty (or participate in sport), then you buy sporting apparel. If you are aiming for a sexier look, then you buy tighter, more revealing or more suggestive clothing. Why do you wish to look sexier? For yourself? How will you know if you really are sexy? Unless you happen to be homosexual, then you'll generally aim to showcase your assets which -believe it or not- happens to be the very same equipment that males are generally interested in. Wow. It is a basic fact that human beings respond to reinforcement be it positive or negative. How we perceive things depends largely upon the way in which the situation was presented to us in a similar scenario. Same goes for our tastes. Therefore, if you wore fishnet suspenders a PVC mini-dress and trowelled on the hooker-cum-drag queen make-up and received quite a quantity of positive attention (reinforcement) as a result, then you are likely to replicate that look. Whether or not you are aware of the fact - you are looking to re-create that same amount of attention you received in an effort to validate yourself and boost your flagging self-esteem. A vapid, witless blonde comes to mind here but we won't delve into that.

No-one disputes a woman's right to exhibit this kind of behaviour (although it will tick other women off - possibly out of jealousy or a feeling of betrayal as a woman). Don't however, insist on obtaining DD fake breasts and jam them into an A cup and insist you're doing this because you "like the look for yourself and no-one else". No-one really believes you. If you really do 'like the look' as discussed above, it is most likely because you have succeeded in your ambition to garner more male interest. Well done, now let's hope you know to handle it - after all - you slaved hard to get it.

If you happen to be a female that happily acknowledges this fact and is more than willing to admit that this is indeed the case - more power to you. It's just that so many, many girls deny it. The sad fact is the fashion industry is based purely upon the marketability of sexuality. Arguing that suggestive fashion for girls under 10 is a moot point.

This is further exhibited by another Big Brother "empowered woman" - 19 year old Krystal (pictured with her mother Karen above), whose most dubious claim to fame was that she had managed to acquire breast implants before her breasts had even finished developing. Of course Krystal argues that the implants "empowered" her (how overused and misunderstood the true meaning of word really is). She feels so much more confident now that she can boast a D (I can only guess at the size) cup. How empowering. What an achievement. Who needs a degree, a career, a harmonious family life or a great circle of friends when you've got D cup size tits. Fulfilling. Moreover Krystal's faux mammaries have enriched her in so many other ways - financially to name just one. After all, what's the point of inflatables if you can't pose for FHM magazine? Perhaps she hopes to recoup the $9000.00 she spent on obtaining them. Besides, it's family bonding - who wants matching mother-daughter bracelets when hooters are so much more personal?

Whilst shows like BB may appeal to those who don't wish to subscribe to internet porn (and BB would have to be a lame substitute), the worst aspect of BB is that it purports to be a "reality" television show. And some idiots actually believe this. After the backlash over the turkey-slapping incident, a slew of girls in their late teens wrote into various publications (the Herald-Sun and web bulletin boards in the main) to defend BB's credibility in the 'reality' stakes. One 50/50 contributor pointed out that "Australia needs to get real - this is how teens act". Whilst I don't wish to rain on anybody's delusions, the demographic of the BB housemates tends to be early twenty-somethings (mostly single, white and somewhat incoherent). Unfortunately we're not privy to the level of education or life experience attained but from the interesting use of the English language, most don't appear to have excelled at written comprehension at school.
Not being a teenager, I cannot speak with any personal experience of how teens behave in today's society. I think it's fair to assume though that most don't possess breast implants or receive regular turkey slaps. Moreover, to those who try to claim that BB is an interesting 'sociological' study - I am yet to find any reference by neo-Durkheim, Marx or Weber theorists as to the academic viability of BB. After all, how 'real' can a show be when it's recreated season after season with each subsequent group fully aware of how many Australians will be watching them. And of course if we were all in the same situation, none of us would alter our behaviour in accordance with what we believed the audience would want to see. It's amazing just how many BB housemates are all 'total party animals' in real life.

If BB really is a reflection of Australian society, then we don't have much to look forward to as a collective.